Say Good-Bye to a Part of my past
THIS WAS A BLOG I POSTED LAST YEAR, I AM JUST REMEMBERING AND LOOK AT WHERE I AM TODAY,
THIS IS A ON GOING PROCESS AS I GROW IN AGE, SPIRIT, WISDOM AND MATURITY MORE TO FOLLOW
I AM SAYING GOOD-BYE TO MY PAST
GOD SO GIVE YOU WHAT YOU NEED WHEN YOU NEED IT, YOU KNOW EVERY DAY I SEE HIS WORD IN ACTION. THE LAST WEEK OF AUG. IS A SORROWFUL WEEK FOR ME. AUG. 29 IS THE ANNIVERSARY OF ME AND MY HUSBAND, AUG 31 IS THE ANNIVERSARY OF MY HUSBANDS DEATH. THIS YEAR IT WAS 10YRS FOR HIS DEATH. BUT IT HIT ME LIKE A TON OF BRICKS. MIND YOU THERE HAS BEEN SOME YEARS THAT I GOT THROUGH MOST OF THE DAY NOT REMEMBERING THE DAY. BUT THIS YR WAS LIKE THE FIRST YR. WELL AS I WAS GOING THROUGH MY DAY JUST LETTING MY FEELINGS OVER TAKE ME AND NOT WANTING COMFORT, FEELING I HAVE THE RIGHT TO EMERGE IN SORROW AND SELF PITY AFTER ALL "I'M A WIDOW" I REMEMBER MY DAUGHTER SAYING WHATS WRONG WITH YOU AFTER SEEING ME SITTING ON THE SIDE OF THE COUCH STARING OFF, I SAID MY HUSBAND IS DEAD. SHE LOOKED AT ME AND SAID YOU JUST REALIZING THIS. KNOWING ME VERY WELL SHE IS THE ONE THAT WILL CALL ME OUT, SHE HAS THAT NO NONSENCE I FEEL YOUR PAIN BUT OH WELL, WHAT CAN YOU DO ABOUT IT, (AND SHE IS IN COLLEGE TO BE A SOCIAL WORKER HAHA) AS MY DAY WAS GOING ALONG, I HEAR GOD SAY THIS IS THE LAST TIME, A FEW WEEKS AGO I WAS REMEMBERING THAT IN OCT. I WILL HAVE 10YRS CLEAN TIME FROM CRACK, MY SISTER WANTS TO CELEBRATE THIS DAY, BECAUSE I WENT TO TREATMENT ON HER BIRTHDAY AFTER A 10YR BOUT WITH THIS DEMON CRACK. AND GOD SAID NO MORE COUNTING THE YEARS. I DID NOT KNOW AT THE TIME HE MENT ALL MY PAST. HE IS TELL ME THAT WAS THE PAST WE ARE FINISHED WITH THAT TIME I AM THE GOD OF THE HERE AND NOW AND THE FUTURE, WE HAVE NO TIME TO KEEP CELEBRATING WHAT WAS IT' TIME TO MOVE FORWARD. HE EXPLAINED TO ME DON'T YOU HAVE MORE BLESSING THEN LOSSES HAVE YOU FOR GOTTEN WHAT IT WAS LIKE BACK THERE, TO MOVE FORWARD DOESN'T DISHONOR YOUR MARRAIGE OR THE LOVE YOU HAVE FOR YOUR HUSBAND BUT FOR YOU TO ALLOW THIS DAY TO OVER TAKE YOU IN SORROW DISHONORS ME AND THE HEALING AND DELIVERING POWER I HAVE GIVEN YOU. I HAVE A MIGHTY WORK FOR YOU TO DO AND I NEED YOU IN THE NOW 8YEARS IS NEW BEGININGS. YOU HAVE BEEN TELL YOUR FAMILY THAT THIS IS YOU ALLS SEASON DID YOU FORGET IT'S YOUR SEASON ALSO ASK ME WHAT YOU WANT. TRUST ME, COME GO ALL THE WAY WITH ME, HAVE I NOT PROVEN MYSELF TO BE FAITHFUL, LOVING, AND CARING TOWARDS YOU. WELL YOU KNOW I REPENTED ONCE I UNDERSTOOD. YOU SEE MY HUSBAND WAS AN ADDICT ALSO AND AFTER HE DIED I WENT TO TREATMENT. HAD HE NOT DIED I DO NOT KNOW WHERE I WOULD BE BUT I TELL YOU THIS I NEVER COULD BE DRUG FREE LIVING WITH A ADDICT AND HE MADE IT CLEAR HE DID NOT WANT TO OR TRUST HOW TO BE CLEAN HE HAD BEEN AN ADDICT FOR SO MANY YEARS. SO MY SISTERS, YES WE HAVE TO CHANGE WE HAVE TO GROW. AND SOMETIMES IT'S PAINFUL, BUT SO NECASSARY FOR US TO WALK INTO OUR DESTINY AND PURPOSE OUR PAST IS JUST A STEPPING STONE TO GET US TO OUR FUTURE BUT IF WE STAY BACK THERE OR KEEP GOING BACK THERE FOR A VISIT WE CAN NEVER GO FORWARD. A MEMORY IS OK JUST DONT SET UP YOUR TENT. I PRAY THIS HELPS SOMEONE IT WAS HARD FOR ME, BUT I FEEL BETTER AND HAS I WAS WRITING THIS GOD GAVE ME MORE REVELATION AND THAT IS ALWAYS A GOOD THING. FATHER GOD, PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR COMPLAINIG AND MURMURING. GIVE ME THE COURAGE, STRENGHT, AND PEACE TO MOVE ON AND CHANGE. FATHER I ASK FOR YOUR STAYING POWER TO KEEP WALKING INTO CHANGE. HELP ME BULD MY CHARACTER AND SELF-CONTROL. I LOVE YOU FATHER AND AM SO GRATEFUL FOR ALL YOU HAVE DONE IN MY LIFE AND EXCITED ABOUT ALL YOU ARE GOING TO DO IN MY LIFE. THANK YOU FOR BEING SO TRUE TO YOUR WORD YOU WILL NEVE LEAVE ME OR FORSAKE ME. FOR WITH OUT YOU IN MY LIFE I WILL SURLY DIE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SON JESUS THAT DIE IN MY PLACE TO GIVE ME LIFE AND IN ABOUDANCE. IN JEUS NAME , AMEN
THIS IS A ON GOING PROCESS AS I GROW IN AGE, SPIRIT, WISDOM AND MATURITY MORE TO FOLLOW
I AM SAYING GOOD-BYE TO MY PAST
GOD SO GIVE YOU WHAT YOU NEED WHEN YOU NEED IT, YOU KNOW EVERY DAY I SEE HIS WORD IN ACTION. THE LAST WEEK OF AUG. IS A SORROWFUL WEEK FOR ME. AUG. 29 IS THE ANNIVERSARY OF ME AND MY HUSBAND, AUG 31 IS THE ANNIVERSARY OF MY HUSBANDS DEATH. THIS YEAR IT WAS 10YRS FOR HIS DEATH. BUT IT HIT ME LIKE A TON OF BRICKS. MIND YOU THERE HAS BEEN SOME YEARS THAT I GOT THROUGH MOST OF THE DAY NOT REMEMBERING THE DAY. BUT THIS YR WAS LIKE THE FIRST YR. WELL AS I WAS GOING THROUGH MY DAY JUST LETTING MY FEELINGS OVER TAKE ME AND NOT WANTING COMFORT, FEELING I HAVE THE RIGHT TO EMERGE IN SORROW AND SELF PITY AFTER ALL "I'M A WIDOW" I REMEMBER MY DAUGHTER SAYING WHATS WRONG WITH YOU AFTER SEEING ME SITTING ON THE SIDE OF THE COUCH STARING OFF, I SAID MY HUSBAND IS DEAD. SHE LOOKED AT ME AND SAID YOU JUST REALIZING THIS. KNOWING ME VERY WELL SHE IS THE ONE THAT WILL CALL ME OUT, SHE HAS THAT NO NONSENCE I FEEL YOUR PAIN BUT OH WELL, WHAT CAN YOU DO ABOUT IT, (AND SHE IS IN COLLEGE TO BE A SOCIAL WORKER HAHA) AS MY DAY WAS GOING ALONG, I HEAR GOD SAY THIS IS THE LAST TIME, A FEW WEEKS AGO I WAS REMEMBERING THAT IN OCT. I WILL HAVE 10YRS CLEAN TIME FROM CRACK, MY SISTER WANTS TO CELEBRATE THIS DAY, BECAUSE I WENT TO TREATMENT ON HER BIRTHDAY AFTER A 10YR BOUT WITH THIS DEMON CRACK. AND GOD SAID NO MORE COUNTING THE YEARS. I DID NOT KNOW AT THE TIME HE MENT ALL MY PAST. HE IS TELL ME THAT WAS THE PAST WE ARE FINISHED WITH THAT TIME I AM THE GOD OF THE HERE AND NOW AND THE FUTURE, WE HAVE NO TIME TO KEEP CELEBRATING WHAT WAS IT' TIME TO MOVE FORWARD. HE EXPLAINED TO ME DON'T YOU HAVE MORE BLESSING THEN LOSSES HAVE YOU FOR GOTTEN WHAT IT WAS LIKE BACK THERE, TO MOVE FORWARD DOESN'T DISHONOR YOUR MARRAIGE OR THE LOVE YOU HAVE FOR YOUR HUSBAND BUT FOR YOU TO ALLOW THIS DAY TO OVER TAKE YOU IN SORROW DISHONORS ME AND THE HEALING AND DELIVERING POWER I HAVE GIVEN YOU. I HAVE A MIGHTY WORK FOR YOU TO DO AND I NEED YOU IN THE NOW 8YEARS IS NEW BEGININGS. YOU HAVE BEEN TELL YOUR FAMILY THAT THIS IS YOU ALLS SEASON DID YOU FORGET IT'S YOUR SEASON ALSO ASK ME WHAT YOU WANT. TRUST ME, COME GO ALL THE WAY WITH ME, HAVE I NOT PROVEN MYSELF TO BE FAITHFUL, LOVING, AND CARING TOWARDS YOU. WELL YOU KNOW I REPENTED ONCE I UNDERSTOOD. YOU SEE MY HUSBAND WAS AN ADDICT ALSO AND AFTER HE DIED I WENT TO TREATMENT. HAD HE NOT DIED I DO NOT KNOW WHERE I WOULD BE BUT I TELL YOU THIS I NEVER COULD BE DRUG FREE LIVING WITH A ADDICT AND HE MADE IT CLEAR HE DID NOT WANT TO OR TRUST HOW TO BE CLEAN HE HAD BEEN AN ADDICT FOR SO MANY YEARS. SO MY SISTERS, YES WE HAVE TO CHANGE WE HAVE TO GROW. AND SOMETIMES IT'S PAINFUL, BUT SO NECASSARY FOR US TO WALK INTO OUR DESTINY AND PURPOSE OUR PAST IS JUST A STEPPING STONE TO GET US TO OUR FUTURE BUT IF WE STAY BACK THERE OR KEEP GOING BACK THERE FOR A VISIT WE CAN NEVER GO FORWARD. A MEMORY IS OK JUST DONT SET UP YOUR TENT. I PRAY THIS HELPS SOMEONE IT WAS HARD FOR ME, BUT I FEEL BETTER AND HAS I WAS WRITING THIS GOD GAVE ME MORE REVELATION AND THAT IS ALWAYS A GOOD THING. FATHER GOD, PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR COMPLAINIG AND MURMURING. GIVE ME THE COURAGE, STRENGHT, AND PEACE TO MOVE ON AND CHANGE. FATHER I ASK FOR YOUR STAYING POWER TO KEEP WALKING INTO CHANGE. HELP ME BULD MY CHARACTER AND SELF-CONTROL. I LOVE YOU FATHER AND AM SO GRATEFUL FOR ALL YOU HAVE DONE IN MY LIFE AND EXCITED ABOUT ALL YOU ARE GOING TO DO IN MY LIFE. THANK YOU FOR BEING SO TRUE TO YOUR WORD YOU WILL NEVE LEAVE ME OR FORSAKE ME. FOR WITH OUT YOU IN MY LIFE I WILL SURLY DIE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SON JESUS THAT DIE IN MY PLACE TO GIVE ME LIFE AND IN ABOUDANCE. IN JEUS NAME , AMEN
